Pursuing a new hobby or sport can be exhilarating, especially when it leads to a shocking discovery. This short story follows a new photographer who gets caught up into a missing person case.

“It turned out that sometimes it’s enough to start doing things differently now.”

― Laini Taylor, Muse of Nightmares

Title – Then She Was Gone

From the New York Times bestselling author of Invisible Girl and The Truth About Melody Browne comes a “riveting” (PopSugar) and “acutely observed family drama” (People) that delves into the lingering aftermath of a young girl’s disappearance.

Write of a new hobby that didn’t go quite as you expected.

The best responses will be featured in a future post.

Check back tomorrow for details of the book giveaway for February.

The Girl In The Window – Short Story

I thought pursuing photography as a hobby this year would improve my creativity as an artist and reduce my stress. The opposite happened, though, and I am glad. She wouldn’t be still alive…

Can’t wait to catch up! Here is the link:

https://us04web.zoom.us/j/75304989867?pwd=YnEBenZiL4Y3Vm6HSTJEdjlhSU6oZz05

Meeting ID: 753 0698 2418

Likewise! Should be on in a few.

“Hey Chica,” Paislee smiled when she popped in the zoom chat. “How’s 2021 treating ya?”

“Alright so far. Can’t complain,” I answered. “How about you? How’re the kiddos?”

“Girl, my resolution is to drink less and smile more,” she said. “But those damn gremlins of mine are forever causing me to fail. Jojo thinks it’s funny to decorate the walls with his poopy diapers.”

Paislee’s short, curly auburn hair bounced off her narrow shoulders as she threw her freckled hands in the air.

“Oh Damn. Bless you. At least they are cuddly cute like Gizzo,” I laughed.

“Uh, huh! Cheers to that,” Paislee picked up her wineglass and took a sip. “What about you? What’s your resolution?”

“I have pursued my interest in photography.”

“Oh, awesome,” she replied. “So you bought that Canon PowerShot you were eyeing?”

“Yup. the latest version. I take a walk around different parts of my neighborhood each morning after my first cup of coffee,” I answered. “I take various shots of houses or anything else appealing, and I edit them on my Mac in the evening after work.”

“Oooh that’s a great way to get fit and creative,” Paisley raised her trimmed eyebrow. “I bet it has been quite a mood booster.”

“Oh definitely,” I half-smiled. “It has been quite an experience.”

Paislee raised her eyebrow and put her glass aside.

“I know that look. Something happened,” she said. “Didn’t it?”

I pressed my lips together as I decided if I should tell her or not. I took a sip of my own wine and exhaled.

“Well, I can’t stop thinking about what I captured while visiting the old Gilmore house …”

“What did ya see,” Paislee asked as she slapped her palms on her computer desk. “Spill it, Boo!”

“While taking close-ups of the wrap-around porch and the dark shutters,” I said. “I noticed somebody peeking out of the upstairs window. I think it was the missing girl from Springfield…”

“I mean, it could have been, but I don’t sure. Lemme show you,” I clicked the share my screen button and pulled up two photos of the upstairs window.

“Okay, Miss Nancy Drew. Hit me with it,” Paislee giggled and leaned in closer.

“From the medium-wide shot, it seems to be an average size blonde in a dark robe,” I said as I placed the photos side by side. “In this close-up, you can clearly see a dark blemish on the left side of her face.”

I put exited out of the photos and click on my browser to display news story, stating :

Springfield, LA — Police have issued an Amber Alert for a missing Springfield girl.

Shannon Cobbs, 16, is white, with platinum blond hair and green eyes. She is 5’6” tall and weighs 130 lbs.

She was last seen on Tuesday, Jan. 05, wearing a green military-style jacket, light blue jeans, and white sneakers.

We urge anyone with any information on the whereabouts of Shannon Cobbs to contact the Springfield Police Department at 225-297-3306.

“See what I see?” I zoomed in on the photo of Shannon in her navy blue school uniform, smiling on top of the page.

With her platinum blond hair behind her ears, a small crescent moon-shaped birthmark on her left cheek was visible.

“Oh my God! It’s the same mark,” Paislee gasped. “It is her! You gotta go show the police!”

“Well, Ma’am,” Detective McCoy said as he examined the photos. ‘Looks like this might be the lead we have been looking for.”

“I just hope Shannon is okay,” I replied. ‘I can’t even imagine…”

“The more we know, the more of the chance she will be alive,” he replied. “Did you see any vehicles or anything when you were there?”

“No. No tracks or anything. I know the house has been empty for years,” I shook my head. “But, I have stopped by at night. There are lights in the windows and silhouettes moving behind the curtains.”

Detective McCoy took notes and put the photos in the front pocket of the folder. He folded his arms as he looked at me straight in the eye.

“Mhm. I understand the purpose of capturing the uniqueness of old houses.. but why go back to an abandoned house alone at night?”

“Seriously? I wanted to make sure I was not imagining things,’ I huffed as I pointed at the face in the photos. “This young female might be in terrible danger. Why are you wasting time doubting my intentions? I’m no peeping tom. I’m only a concerned citizen.”

Detective McCoy stood up and grabbed his folder.

“Of course. But you know, you can’t be too careful these days,” he winked. ‘We will go check it out, and I will let you know. You stay safe out there.”

Detective McCoy and Officer Vargas visited the house the next day. There were no vehicles on the lot. No one was in the window when they looked up.

“Do you think she is just pulling your leg? Just look at this shit hole.”

Officer Vargas’s foot through the floorboard as soon as he stepped onto the porch.

“Probably,” Detective McCoy chuckled. “But, you know we have to clear every possible lead.”

He helped Officer Vargas get his foot out and carefully walked to the front door.

“Springfield Police Department,” he said as he knocked twice.

There was no response. They heard nothing but the swaying of trees. Office Vargas just shrugged his broad shoulders and wiggled the doorknob. The door creaked as it opened. They both looked in with their hands on their guns.

“Springfield Police Department,” Detective McCoy shouted, stepping inside and flipping the light switch. “If anybody is in here, please announce yourself.”

No lights turned on, so he pulled out his flashlight and stood still a few minutes to detect any movement before he signaled Officer Vargas to proceed.

“You don’t have to hide. We are just checking on things,” he stated loudly. “Better come out while you have the chance…”

Dead silence was the response. He gave Officer Vargas the signal. Vargas flipped on his flashlight as he stepped in.

“Why would she say she saw lights on when there is no power? There is just dust, spiderwebs…” he jumped when a rat ran away from the bright light. “and rodents.”

Detective McCoy rolled his grayish-blue eyes and checked the kitchen.

“Maybe she caught a homeless person or drug addict seeking shelter..” he replied. “Come on. I’ll go cover the upstairs while you cover the rest.”

“Yes, sir,” Officer Vargas groaned as he walked towards the living room.

Detective McCoy stepped softly as he climbed the stairs and checked each bedroom.

“Atchoo! Aaaa…atchoooo” he sneezed every time he checked under each rusted, rotten bed frame. “Damn dust bunnies.”

As he walked out of the hallway, he heard a noise above his head.

Detective McCoy shined his light on the ceiling as he searched for the attic door. When he found it, he pulled the ladder down and climbed up with his flashlight in his mouth. He turned towards where the noise came from and flashed the light.

“If anybody’s up here, please announce yourself,” he said.

His own shadow was all he saw, and the creaking of the ladder was all he heard.

“Mmm what a pedicular item…” Detective McCoy thought aloud as he spotted an old tall wooden cabinet with a key lock in the corner.

He climbed over and carefully walked to the cabinet.

“Something’s in there, but what?” he wondered as he knocked on it to detect hollowness.

“If you move again, your brains will be all over this dresser,” A budgie, greasy man whispered in Shannon’s ear, pointing a black 357 Magnum pistol at her head. His thumb stayed on the trigger. Shannon swallowed hard as she nodded.

“Oh God, please let this cop find me,” Shannon prayed silently. “Please save me!”

The lock of the cabinet doors didn’t budge when Detective McCoy used a paperclip.

“There must be a key…” He flashed his flashlight all around the area.

The man in the cabinet snickered silently as he held the key in his palms.

Meanwhile, Office Vargas investigated a noise coming from the bathroom. He tiptoed towards the door with his hand on his gun.

He turned the doorknob and drew his gun.

“Goddammit,” He exhaled and put his gun up.

A smelly, starved raccoon with a half eating roach was hissing at a squeaky rat who fell into the toilet. Then the raccoon hissed at him.

“Go on! Get,” Officer Vargas stomped his foot at the raccoon.

Vargas’s shouting alerted McCoy, so he went to check the commotion out. Shannon’s hope went with him.

“Vargas,” Detective McCoy shouted out. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, just walked into a nasty fight between two nasty creatures.,” Officer Vargas answered. “Found anything?”

“Cleared all the rooms. A noise came from the attic, but couldn’t identify where or what it was,” McCoy said as he scribbled in his mini notebook pad. “A locked cabinet is up there…”

“I spoke out and tried to open it,” McCoy shrugged. ‘I’d have heard her if she was, or she’d have heard me…”

“Yeah…” Vargas agreed. “I personally think she is a runaway.”

“Teenagers are the most unpredictable…” McCoy exhaled as they walked out.

“I promise I’d tell nobody,” Shannon pleaded. “Just let me go.”

Her abductor let out a croaky laugh and pushed her down on her knees.

“Not a chance, Babydoll,” he replied as he unzipped. “I gonna play with ya until there’s nothing left of you.”

A few days later, Jan. 13, 2021

Still nothing from the police?

Nunna. I mean, it would be on the news by now…

Have you gone back to the house?

Yes. I went a couple of days ago. I heard screaming as I was walking up.

It’s driving me crazy. I wanna know what they found.

Then call. Do a follow-up.

I don’t want to seem suspicious or anything, though.

Do it for your sanity and for mine!

Geez, alright. Calling right now.

I exhaled and dialed the number.

“Hello. Yes, my name is Ellie Rodgers. May I speak with Detective McCoy?”

“He’s out of the office. Would you like to leave a message?”

“Of course he would be…ugh!” I thought.

“Actually, I was wondering if I could get an update on my tip I shared about the Cobbs case,” I answered. “Can I talk to another officer that is working the case?”

There was a brief pause before the lady with an adenoidal voice answered.

“Officer Vargas is in, and he said he’d help. I’ll transfer you.”

A minute later, A man with a deep voice picked up.

“Hello. Ms. Rodgers. I’m Officer Vargas. How may I help you today?”

“I came in about a week ago and talked to Detective McCoy about what I saw at the old Gilmore house,” I responded. “He said he was going to call me once they checked it out… I’m just calling to…”

“Ah yes, it was a dead-end,” he answered before I could finish.

“Oh… There was no blonde female? Anything?” I replied. “I swear I saw movement in the house..”

“Yep. we searched the house, and there was no one there. Just nasty rodents.”

“But what about the lights?”

“It must’ve been a homeless woman or a drug addict because the house is surely vacant,” he replied.

“Mmk. May I ask when you went to the house?” I asked as my eyebrows knitted. “Because I heard screaming when I walked by a couple of days ago.”

“We went as soon as the next day,” he answered. “Like I said, a homeless junkie might take shelter there.”

“What about Shannon? Have y’all found her?”

‘Unfortunately, no. With lack of evidence, it is very likely that she is a runaway.”

“Y’all are just giving up too quickly,” I thought as I exhaled.

“Bless the Cobbs. Well, Thanks for the update.”

“Mhm. Have a good evening, Mrs. Rodgers.”

It doesn’t matter what I did. I couldn’t stop thinking about the girl in the window or the screaming.

I can’t take it anymore. I am going into the house myself.

No, Ellie. It’s too dangerous.

Just arrived. If I don’t contact you within an hour. Call the police.

You’re going to get yourself killed!

The light was coming through the upstairs windows. I put my phone away and tiptoed around the house. I studied the photos of the house hours before and found out the laundry room has a half-broken window seal.

“There’s no backing out now,” I reminded myself as I ripped the seal off and climbed through.

“I will let the fucking rats eat you alive if you ever disrespect me again,” a male voice echoed from upstairs.

As I made my way up quietly, I pulled out my heavy-duty stun gun that is in the shape of a pink with LED tactical flashlight.

“I’d not care! My life is already over,” a female replied. “Fuck you!”

I held my breath as I stood by the door, peeking through the open crack.

“Oh my God,” I thought. “My gut was right. It’s Shannon.”

“That’s it,” the man shouted as he started reaching for his gun. “Since your life is over..”

“Please,” Shannon begged. “I promise I’ll listen.’

As she scooched away from him, she caught me sliding into the door frame. I put my finger over my lips and spurt towards him with the stun gun buzzing in my hand. Once the man stopped shaking and flapping like a fish out of water, I held him down with my knee.

“Oh thank God,” Shannon cried as she stood up. “You came at the right time…”

“Here. Call the police and tell them who you are,” I said as I tossed her my phone.

Shannon nodded and dialed 911.

“Seems like your new hobby turned out to be more than a hobby,” Detective McCoy commented as we watched the EMTs check Shannon out.

I hoped you enjoyed that piece.

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Brooke Smith is from Louisiana. She graduated from Southeastern Louisiana University with a bachelor’s degree in English with a concentration in Creative Writing. She has a blog called Creative Works by Brooke Settoon Smith, which presents her most recent short stories and poems. She is an author on the mobile app called Texties. She is also a contributing writer for Coffee House Writers and Unwritten. Her favorite genres are crime mysteries and sci-fi.

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We have some pieces about Sherlock Holmes, plus an interview with a podcaster.

Make sure to check out Jody J. Sperling on his podcast here.

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There are many things that a modern reader should like about Sherlock Holmes. He is very much a part of the analytical, statistical, neutral world we live in, deeming science and math as the way to the answer rather than any sort of hope or belief. Holmes needs to see the facts before he can make any rational conclusion, just as you must see the stats, or reviews, or words of whatever information you are seeing today. The trust we have in the truth of deduction has become a sort of religion in itself, one that Holmes would subscribe to, no doubt. Some may even credit the man as influencing it, by being the forefather in literature of what a logical reasoning character should look like. I am not going to go that far and say that modern medicine or the process used by a modern detective is because of the British detective, since that seems to be giving the fictional character a little too much of a say. I will say that the best part of Sherlock Holmes is not his mind, beloved by million, but his appearance. In particular his hunting hat, and the obvious contradiction the hat has in his world.

Sherlock Holmes lives in London, also known as a big city, and he walks around with a hunting hat that looks as though a hunter should wear it after his latest deer hunt. His hat is so out of place that it almost adds to the conceived self-centered way Holmes viewed the world. Nobody has the heart to tell him that he looks goofy in the hat. I can’t blame them, since the guy is kind of a weirdo.

Is there a part of England with a large hunting scene that Holmes is holding out on us? Perhaps the great detective deduced that in order to capture everyone’s attention, he is to wear a hat that is contradictory to the appropriate setting. Clever Holmes, always thinking a step ahead of everyone!

Sherlock Holmes walking around the streets of England in a hunting hat is equivalent to wearing a top hat to a baseball game or a red nose around the mall. The appearance leaves us with more questions about the individual’s mental state than it does any actual appreciation for the hat or nose. I know that I would not be happy if the person who sat in front of me at the game had on a hat like he was Abe Lincoln. But, it is a baseball game. You wear a baseball hat. That is fairly obvious to the sane. Plus, I can’t see the pitch! Seeing someone walk around the mall with a red nose as if they were Rudolph would also be strange. What function does that serve you? Who looks at themselves in the mirror and goes, “I need a red nose with this outfit. It is the only sensible thing to do.”

Anyone who knows about Holmes recognizes that he fits in more with the Abe Lincoln man, or the red nose-wearing person, in that he is kind of off. Something isn’t right about Holmes, so much that he wouldn’t view the peculiar fashion selection as anything but normal. This is a man who doesn’t care about modern politics, the astronomical ramifications of the Earth revolving around the sun, or any prominent philosophers or thinkers of his day. He is a drug addict, and he openly defends the act as a way to stimulate the mind, in the same way, that many musicians would do in the 60s and later on when they took drugs. Even today, the drug addict will say that it is harmful to their health but beneficial to freeing their mind so that they can think things they couldn’t. Holmes even had the crazy theory that you should only know so much information, information particularly useful in your life. He didn’t remember stuff; he didn’t have to. That seems very contradictory to our world today, where we are inundated with irrelevant numbers, stats, and articles that don’t affect us directly. The latest Emmy award winner? The advancement in technology? The latest opinion of a profound mind? Who cares? That is what Holmes says! If it doesn’t affect his work, then who cares? You only have so much information to store in your brain, so why put in stuff that has nothing to do with what you are doing? I understand the point that Holmes is trying to make here, but I gotta say, it is a crazy theory still. The man is aloof from the world outside of his own, yet he is the smartest, most rational in his. What else would we expect from an English man who wears a hunting hat?

We interviewed podcaster Jody J. Sperling about his new podcast.

Check him out at the following links for more information.

His site – His podcast – His Twitter page

• Who are you? What is your name? Where are you from?

Jody J. Sperling is an author, podcaster, husband, and father. He lives in rural Nebraska and constantly suffers from heavy longings to travel broadly.

• What experience do you have in the field of literature?

I began reading with passion at age 11 when my dad lent me his copy of The Hobbit. I went on to read The Lord of the Rings, Madelene L’Engle’s time series, C.S. Lewis, and much more. That love of reading stuck with me though I didn’t start writing in earnest until my early twenties when I learned there was a Fine Arts college pathway. After earning my MFA I wrote buckets of crumby novels and a few decent ones. Among the decent novels, I wrote one that was good enough to attract a literary agent. But rather than soon signing a six-figure book, multibook deal, three years later I fired my agent. For the last year I’ve studied under numerous marketers including Robin and Michael J. Sullivan, and my forthcoming Marketing book, The Seven-Figure Marketing Mindset for Novelists, is entering the marketplace to impart the lessons I learned about the publishing process.

• What is the name of your podcast called?

My podcast is THE RELUCTANT BOOK MARKETER.

I published my first 5 episodes on January 4th 2022.

THE RELUCTANT BOOK MARKETER exists to help authors who want more readers but have no idea how to market and quickly feel defeated when their efforts don’t produce results.

• What do you talk about on it?

Every episode of the podcast aims to build writers’ mindsets, to strengthen the writers’ resolve, to lenghten the writers’ time horizon to success, to challenge the writers’ mindset about selling and asking for the sale.

• How frequently do you release an episode?

New episodes drop every Monday and Wednesday. Always.

• Who is the audience is your podcast?

My audience is any writer who wants to have a seven-figure impact through the books they publish, and I have a special sense of responsibility to novelists.

• Where can people go to listen to it?

You can listen to THE RELUCTANT BOOK MARKETER anywhere pods are cast. (Ratings and reviews are the lifeblood of a show and matter so much.)

• What do you want your listeners to get from by listening to your podcast?

A review from my listener, summed up what I want. “A lot of creatives hate the business side of the life, but we all want to make a living. A good variety of guests and stories help make this show different than other writing-life podcasts, and there’s an acknowledgement that no solution is one-size-fits-all.”

• Have you learned about podcasting since you started it?

Boy have I! I am not ashamed to admit I’ve spent five figures on education, materials, subscriptions and alcohol (beer temporarily helps a wounded ego). All that expense has taught me a great deal about podcasting, and given me an unflagging will to make the podcast a smashing success!

• Do you have future plans for the podcast?

Twice a day, I write my goals with Ashley—she’s the anchor of this operation—and one of my recurring goals is for THE RELUCTANT BOOK MARKETER to be the #1 Podcast overall.

Thanks to Jody for the interview.

The British detective, who changed how we all examined a crime scene with his deduction reasoning, had a notoriously strange outlook on the world, which puts him at odds with the very world he lives in. So, no, it is not that he is an overall unusual character, one that some may feel behaves like a detached hero more than a noble one, which we should be rooting for in the story.

Holmes thought you should only know what is needed to help the crime. Let’s think about that for a second; only the information useful for his job, in this case, solving crimes. You may not think that presents much of a problem, but closer examination shows Holmes doesn’t know what he is talking about.

The philosophy of Sherlock Holmes’s attainment of knowledge presents a few major issues.

• What is considered important to the case? – Holmes doesn’t admit that he is still prioritizing stuff by eliminating them and thus leaving out major potential information. How does Holmes know that something he deems insignificant to his career may not be important later on? The truth is, he doesn’t. He is openly being a hypocrite here, too, since one day he is saying that the insignificant details of the world mean nothing to him, and then when he is solving a crime, he says that the slightest detail can change the outcome of a case. So what is it exactly? Do the details only matter to the case? How can a major detail that relates to the life we live not relate to the case as compared to a minor detail only Holmes knows? How is he prioritizing this thought process?

• How does he actually do this in a world full of information? – The idea of Holmes sounds good in theory; only learn what is helpful to you, but anyone who has lived longer than a day knows that is impossible. You get pointless information thrown at you all the time, whether it is commercials on the TV, pop-ups on the internet, or even studies in school you deem useful in your educational advancement. Practically speaking, you learn useless information about our world, whether you want to. There is no way around it. You’ll memorize a jingle you would rather forget. (There is one about cars and kids that always get stuck in my head) You’ll remember internet pop-ups you never intend on using. (We all know these so much there are even jokes about the frequency of these pop-ups) You’ll remember a fact from school that doesn’t help you in life. (For most, it is Pythagorean’s theorem. I have yet to come across any adults who use this on a frequent enough basis where the emphasis on learning it in school is justified. For me, the number one rule in war is never to invade Russia. Hitler did it and lost. Napoleon did it and lost. I guess the school wanted all those aspiring generals to learn their war strategies early in life)

Do we view each other as stupid because we remember these silly things? No. We accept them as a fact of life since we can’t always control the information in front of us, yet our brains always work, receive, and process information. Even though there are many times we want to be unplugged or turned off from the world, our active brains don’t allow it, giving us knowledge in fields we have no interest in.

So what does Holmes do if he hears a catchy commercial jingle? How does he avoid internet pop-ups? Are you telling me in school, Sherlock Holmes never encountered a topic that would be useless to know as an adult?

The intriguing part of the theory is how it is very sensible in one respect, and in another, it is insanity at its finest.

Know what matters to you. Everything you learn should be functional in your daily life. That is good advice to give someone to focus better on accomplishing a goal and not get distracted by the information around them. I tell it to kids all the time. Focus on the assignment ahead of you. In certain regards, the Holmes perspective is great.

On the other hand, the theory completely dismisses the real-world application of its use. How do you live a life where you only get the information you deem worthy of your time? That is not actually living but trying to control the world to your mental will. Not accepting this factoid of life can cause concern for those around you. If you don’t realize that the world will give you plenty of pointless crap to deal with, then what else don’t you get.

It’s part reasonable, part insane.

It makes you wonder if the real case Holmes was trying to solve was about life itself.

We hope you enjoyed this post. We are trying to add some more variety to each post going forward. If you are in literature, and wish to be interviewed or featured, please make sure to contact us.

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Greg Luti is an editor and blogger on pensandwords.com. His favorite writers are Robert Frost and Charles Bukowski. He enjoys reading up on history, watching comedies, and playing video games, when he is not writing down a few notes for his next piece. He started this blog out of his love for literature and hopes that the reader shares that same passion.

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I think we are at the point where I no longer have to say stuff about the new year to you. Besides the themed pieces, that are about “New Year.”

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The Internet Ruined Literature – Op-Ed Piece

The internet is probably the most important advancement mankind has made in recent memory. We have found a way to gather all the information we have written in one spot for any person with a device to read or watch that info. We took our libraries and combined them for the consumption of the average person. The internet changed the world. It is why the computer took off, and one is in every home in America, it is why phones are no longer only phones, it is why social media is a term that you not only understand but don’t question. It is even the reason you are reading these very words. Without the internet, none of that would be.

The expansive book holding, image storing, internet shaped the world in the same way that the printing press did. It gave vital information to more people, allowing them more ideas to ponder and learn about. (That is what happens when you read, you are given novel topics you would have never thought of before) The printing press allowed people from all over Europe to have copies of books to read, so instead of listening to the priest’s sermon, you can read the Bible yourself and make your own opinions of it all. “What did Jesus mean when he said that he was the Son of Man? Find out yourself! Cause you own the book!” Reading is arguably the most important thing a person can do to improve themselves since that knowledge can be applied to multiple situations in their life. Imagine the world going from one that nobody reads to everyone knowing how to read. That is what the printing press did to everyone, giving them ideas that they never had before. I don’t believe it is a coincidence that some of our brightest minds came after the printing press. The Enlightenment, the Industrial Revolution, the Medical Revolution all can give some credit to the printing press for their greatness. No press means no books, and that means less ingenious creative material ever recorded. Would we have had humanism, or the train, or penicillin, if the printing press wasn’t there to distribute books on such a large scale?

The inventive, free-to-use internet was like the printing press on drugs. Reaching so many people and affecting our lives so much that life would seem unnatural without the man-made invention. Try to, for a split second, imagine a world where there was no internet. Can you? If you can, then imagine a world without any books cause that is a world without the printing press—both game-changers in their own right.

This invention of grandness, this library of words and images, we call the internet, is great. We should all be happy that we live in such a time that we can search up any question we want and then use that opportunity to waste the search on cats and boobs. Many will say that technology has ruined the world we live in and has infected our meandering minds, sinful souls, and blessed beings, but none of those pundits will admit to the success that technology has had for them.

Technology is only bad when it doesn’t help you, and since we all like talking about bad things more than good ones, we act like technology has nothing good to give us. When your kid is on the video games for too long, technology is cancer rotting the youth’s brains, but you fail to acknowledge the school’s computer room, which the kid uses to research their papers.

When you watch too much TV, and procrastination is the habit your body forms, you put the blame on the screen of technology, but when you use the GPS to get where you need to go, you never utter anything of technology’s hand. How many of us even realize the useful things that technology gives us? I use it every day, and I am sure that I take my ability to research topics and share my thoughts for granted. I don’t mean to, as I am sure that you don’t either. We are all so accustomed to the easiness and usefulness of it all that we never take a step back and appreciate the greatness that is before us.

As I say all of this about technology, it has hurt the very field that I love so much; literature. But before I do that, let me go into how it has helped literature.

• It gave guys like me a chance to say whatever the hell I want, whenever I want. I can go on a rant about books being bought by their authors or share a short story about guns with the reader directly. It is a privilege that only the internet could provide. I’d have to be employed by someone and write what they wanted me to write before the internet. Can you imagine that? I’d be in my fifth article before I’d start going on rants that make no sense.

• Authors can now self-publish. The self-published author gave a voice to anyone with the proper tools to write. You no longer have to get a book deal. You can write it and put it up for sale, all on your own. This gives the write unprecedented freedom with their work, not constrained to the limits of the editor’s opinions.

These are a few things that authors and writers should be grateful to technology for helping our field.

Unfortunately, one area has been ruined by laptops’ presence in every room, eyes on every phone, and information being shared all the time.

The internet no longer allows for cultural phenomena to happen within the literature community. Think of it, when was the last book that the masses knew and spoke about; One that could be considered a trend and a must for everyone to know. Harry Potter?

I dare to say that there hasn’t been any book or book series on a level of cultural phenomenon like Harry Potter because of the internet. Remember, the boy wizard series started in 1998, so that was before the internet took off and was in everyone’s homes. When the boy with the scar on his forehead debuted, the world was very different.

If you go up to someone in the street and ask them to name a bestseller, can they? Or ask someone to name a book; I wonder which ones they even bring up? How many of the most popular books were published after the internet.

You know, let’s have some fun here.

Here are the last five winners for the Goodreads Fiction Choice Award.

• 2020 – The Midnight Library by Mat Haig

• 2019 – The Testaments by Margaret Atwood

• 2018 – Still Me by Jojo Moyes

• 2017 – Little Fire Everywhere by Celeste Ng

• 2016 – Truly Madly Guilty – Liane Moriarty

Can you honestly name any of them? If I were to meet you on the street and casually brought up any of these books, would you know what I was even talking about? If you can, then you have officially earned your badge for a book nerd, and I wouldn’t think that you are part of the majority, but rather in the reading community.

I’ll be frank with you right now, I have spoken to people about books over the five years, people who buy books and enjoy them in their spare time, and not once has any of those books been brought up in conversation. And these are the ones that are supposed to be popular! (Now, if you want to claim that it is my friends that are the problem, then you can, but that doesn’t change the fact that every reader I spoke to knows of Harry Potter, and not these books)

The average person can’t name any of these books, and it is for a reason that literature doesn’t want to admit to itself. It just isn’t that popular. You can read a book of the year, and people at the table you sit at, would not even know the name of the book. After a while, literature has to ask itself that maybe, just maybe, the masses left and are doing something else. Sorry writers, but your words aren’t that good to keep people around. (also, the internet kind of screwed you over too)

The literature community has become a niche audience because of the internet. People are more interested in reading blog posts than books, so the general audience is never found. Let’s face it; if you are reading this blog, then you are not the typical reader; you like beautifully written, well-structured books, you like complex yet simple stories, You’re a book nerd like me if you like reading of writers owning their own words or writers talking about certain things. You spend your afternoons thinking of Austen’s romance novels or Shakespeare’s relevance today. You quote Orwell in casual conversation. “Big Brother is watching. “We are all equal. Some are more equal than others.” You know the identity of Samuel Clemens. You are a die-hard reader, so the internet’s growth doesn’t sway you away from reading. You will read anyway. It’s the casual reader that the literary field lost. Those that read whatever is popular, those that read what everyone else is reading, those who read the books that are a cultural phenomenon. Those people have left, and I don’t know if they are ever coming back.

That gets me to my next point; the internet has converted casual readers into casual viewers, or casual gamers, or casual social media followers. The average person who doesn’t care about themes or motifs is now watching their favorite shows on Netflix to pass the time, not reading another book. They are playing video games that seem to be getting longer and longer when they have some spare time, not dive into a few more chapters of their favorite book. They check out what everyone is saying on social media a few times during the day, not go through a few lines from a new book they found. The thing that none of them are doing; reading.

People are doing other things besides reading. We are all literate, but none of us read.

Can this change? I don’t know. There is a major problem I see with literature competing against these other fields. They all seem to do a good job of keeping you involved once you start. If you are on youtube, the creator tells you to subscribe, and then you have another video pop up before you can get to the remote. Video games are adding more and more levels so that you must devote days upon days, sometimes even more of your life to the game. Social media preys on our own self-interest in each other. We feel left out on what is happening, so after a while, we will check social media as if it is a drug.

Literature shouldn’t expect much help from their competition. Your TV will never tell you to stop what you are doing and read a book, even though that book may help you more than the TV. Video games will never do this. I don’t even have to elaborate here. Don’t expect people on social media to tell you to stop tweeting or posting and read a book.

Society is not encouraging people to read, and what started it all? The internet.

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Can A Writer Buy Their Own Books To Become A Bestseller? – Op-Ed Piece

There are some questions that you may not want to ask as you go through your busy day that includes going to work, grocery shopping, fixing that leak in the basement, and finding that piece of paper you misplaced the other day. You’d rather ignore them altogether (the questions, not the tasks) and pretend that you never heard them. They don’t inform you, like well-placed advice. They don’t help you, like a stranger who can jumpstart your car. They don’t really do anything good for you, like a sickness in your body. They are just there. We’ve asked questions like them before here on this blog. These types of questions will make you wonder if we are all there (Hey, we can at least admit they are a little much). These unspeakable thoughts include asking if there is something else going with social media. We only ask that because we got tired of pondering over character creation and Santa’s cowboy status. If you ask enough questions, you’ll ask some that you never wished to ask.

Literature, the field that has a boy wizard who saves the world, a man teaching his kids with birds, and too much poetry, has one of those “bad questions” that I want to address here today, not to inform you or help, but rather as speculation towards an issue that can persist in the field I love so much. Some of you more curious readers may have already asked this to yourself after you finished a novel or put back a book on your shelf.

Can a writer just buy enough copies of their book to make it a bestseller?

We know that to be a bestseller, a book needs a certain amount of copies sold, so can’t one person just buy that amount and have themselves a bestseller?

Eh… Yes, and no. When you make the situation into a question, it sounds more straightforward than it really is.

Before I go into that wild theory, I want to talk about some other things that go on in other industries that don’t help the literature’s fake bestsellers.

First, there is the music industry; to the artists that create the songs that we all sing-along to at karaoke and in our cars. Music is the stepbrother of literature, in that we are doing the same thing; we are telling stories of the world we are in, but one has a beat and a microphone, and the other has an empty room and pages in a book. Can a music label just buy enough copies/downloads of a song to make it number one? Well, they already did. Yeah, back in the 1950s or so, there was a whole scandal called Payola; DJ’s were paid to play certain songs. They were pretending that the songs were not paid for, though. They acted as though the listeners wanted those paid-for songs. Even recently, artists such as Beyonce and Kanye West were accused of buying downloads of their songs. They bought so many downloads that everyone claimed the songs to be hits. So it is still very much a thing that exists today. You purchase enough copies of your music, it is then on the charts, people check the charts, and then they see your song, and if they like it, they actually buy it. I am not sure why the music industry acts as though this doesn’t happen today, but moving on.

The second is the movie industry. Those films that engage our imaginations while allowing our buts to rest. Movies are the more popular, not as sophisticated, brother of literature. On to the question, though; Can a movie studio buy enough tickets to a movie to make it number one? There have been some rumors over this for some movies like Captain Marvel in recent years, so people do question the numbers to the box office totals. People were sharing pictures of empty theaters to a movie that was supposed to be sold out. Personally, I can say that there have been times when I was at the theater, and I couldn’t help but notice how empty it was, even though I had a hard time buying tickets online before I walked in. That thought isn’t given much time, but I am confident that some of you have had the same experience. If the movie was sold-out, why is no one even there? (We can ask the same thing of the hit song too. If the song is so popular, how come no one I ever see knows of it? It must be my friends that are the problem) Also, we are always told about the movies’ box office gross, never the ticket sales, which is a very different thing. If we went by the tickets sold, we would all get a better sense of how many people went to see the movie. Unfortunately, this industry is the same as the music industry, in that we can’t really tell if this happens because there are some movies we actually pay for.

The third is the blogging industry. The very sector these random words go under. Blogging is the younger, less talented brother of literature, believing that it can be better, but never actually ever doing it. Can a blog just buy enough readers to become popular? Some do. It is a dirty little secret in the blogging industry, but it is there; buy the email list. You buy an email list of people you think would be interested in the blog, and then you send them an email without them ever asking for one. Why do you think that all these blogs are trying to get you to subscribe? Each blogger knows that if you buy enough emails, you will eventually get enough people to go to your site, hence making it appear popular, and then people who actually want to go to your site (who weren’t emailed) will then subscribe. Notice how no blogger ever says how they got all those people on the list. They want you to believe that the numbers they give you are legit.

The major problem with all of these possibilities is elementary, unfortunately.

The average consumer can’t distinguish the difference between the fraud and the real stuff;

between the song that is paid for to be a hit song and the song that is a hit because people really like it; between the movie that has tickets paid for to be number one at the box office, and the movie that is number one because a lot of people see it; between the blog that buys an email list to become popular, and the blog that doesn’t and becomes popular by having people actually subscribe to it. I told you about my experience at the movie theaters. When people are faced with moments with the possible scams, we brush it aside. It’s like none of us go forward with that because we don’t want to.

The clever scams of buying songs, buying tickets, buying emails could happen, but no one would ever know. Would you? What are you going to call up a buddy you know that makes songs and ask him about Beyonce? Do you know a movie producer who has a few friends? Are you going to search the email lists of that blog you suspect is doing something fishy? No. Most people only know whatever is available in front of them. I can tell you right now that I wouldn’t be able to tell if this actually happens. We assume that the charts are telling us the truth. But going from the history of the fields, we shouldn’t blindly follow whatever they say about themselves; after all, they have lied to us before. (Payola being the obvious example here)

There is another problem related to these scams being recognized by people. We actually like the product we are being sold. We enjoy listening to music on our radio as we bake pies or on our laptop as we type up another document. We like going to the movies (or it may be seeing them, at this point). The stories on the big screen of gangsters and adventurers and time travel captivate and entertain us. We like reading a blog to keep informed of our local sports team, or to read a book review, or to read a random-ass rant like this one. There are some in each industry that are rightfully number one because they are great, and many people go to see them. This doesn’t mean that the scam can’t happen, though.

I am only addressing these parts of those fields that I do like, to show them for who they are, rather than who they want us to think they are. To not only praise them for the art they give us, but to put out the methods they go to delivering such art. The more I thought about the original question, the more I thought of these other fields. My problem is that I like these fields, so after a while, I don’t want to think about this question. I want to just listen to my favorite songs. I want to watch my favorite movie in peace. I want to read my favorite blog without having to worry about the ethics of it all. But back to literature; if these other fields do stuff like this, why should literature be any different? And worst of all, who the hell would know?

If you really wanted to for some reason and had the money, then I don’t see why you couldn’t buy enough copies of your book to be a bestseller.

It has happened before. A guy bought enough copies from a store for his books to sell more than anyone really wanted to read the book. The book then “became” a bestseller. Bestseller is a status that gives the book credibility, so people feel as if they need to read it, so others who would have never read the book buy it. It’s similar to what I said of the other fields. People want to read what is popular, but no one will ask if we are being lied to about it.

Money is a thing that really affects books more than we think. Some books have more money poured into them than others, so of course, people will read that book. There’s a lot that can go into a book, besides the writer sweating and crying over the plot points. Marketing, book reviews, book tours, and the number of copies; that all cost money before any profit is ever seen. Most indie writers don’t have the one thing the major book industries have; money.

Why do you think the presidents always write bestsellers or famous celebrities write them too? Because they have the money to buy enough copies of their own book. Sure, you will be told it is not because of that. I am a loony. I am out of my mind here. Ignore what I am telling you. Just remember that is the same thing that the other fields say too. Of course, none of these fields would ever admit to anything like that. “Oh, yes, we pay for our song to be played.” “Oh, yes, we pay for tickets to our own movie.” “Oh, yes, we paid for an email list to grow the blog.” They are all very quiet about this. And if anyone ever asks, just tell them I was joking when I told you this. Yes, this is all a joke.

Sorry to say this to you, but there is a chance that the song you love, the movie you watch all the time, the blog you always check out, and the book you memorized may have bought their way to the top. The top songs, the hit movies, the most-read blogs, and the bestsellers may not actually be that way at all. Sorry about being the bearer of bad news.

There has been a controversy in the video game industry that relates to all of this. It is called “Pay to play.” You need to put down money on a game you already bought to be competitive in the game. Hence you are paying the game to play better at the game. This happens in many games, from the sports video games like Madden, where you can put real money down on better in-game players, or in open-world adventure games, where you put real money towards better armor and equipment. They have people paying real money to buy things that aren’t even real. It’s messed up and obviously not fair since some people put thousands of dollars into the game when others were lucky to buy the DLC content. So that guy who put a mortgage down on the game will dominate it and appear to be great, but it was all the money that did it, not him. Perhaps things are more like the video game scandal that I would like to think. Whether you are a musician trying to write a hit song, or a movie executive penning your next film, or a blogger editing your next post, if you are not paying, then you are not playing.

I hope you enjoyed the piece.

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Greg Luti is an editor and blogger on pensandwords.com. He likes to listen to music. He enjoys reading books and watching hit movies. He hopes that what he wrote here is a theory more than reality.

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Here is a short story about a writer getting canceled. This one is a little strange with it’s narrative, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

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My husband’s grandfather was minister..we have several boxes of his books..enjoy looking at them…have book of poems by Longfellow

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foozle – to bungle, to play clumsily

In the sentence – If I tried a trick out of turn, I might foozle and lose prestige.

HEARTS AND MASKS|HAROLD MACGRATH

Billy Collins was born on March 22, 1941.

E.D. Hirsch was born on March 22, 1928.

Information found on Born Glorious

This Day In Literature History

Literary related events that happened on March 22

1978 – Robert Frost Plaza, at California, Drumm & Market, San Francisco, dedicated

1991 – NY Daily News begins using motto “Forward with NY”

“I am.” is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

Fact found on Fun Facts About

The answer to yesterday’s question was Herman Melville wrote Moby Dick in 1850. It was published in 1851.

Today’s question – What is the bestselling book of all time?

Hint – the key part of the question is the word book.

Come back tomorrow for the answer.

Getting Canceled – Short Story

A writer sat at his desk, ready to write his next novel. At least it appeared that way to any onlooker. On the inside, he was hesitant about his place in the field.

What if this book doesn’t sell? I spend all that time writing something and make no money from it. Boy, that would suck. Talk about wasting everyone’s time. I don’t know. Maybe I should have gone into business or something. It’s not like there is much money in writing. Nah. I do it for the joy of it anyway, for the love I have for the art. I don’t know, recently that has even disappeared. Why does it feel that the more I write, the less I enjoy to write? Am I still doing this for the fun of it? Like when I was a kid. I don’t know. Sometimes I can’t help but wonder why I am doing this.

His agent came into the room to talk of his next book, one that the writer was not interested in writing. “I have been thinking about that next book of yours. Coming along, I bet.”

“Oh. Yeah. It’s great.” He hasn’t even started it. What happens if a writer uses a word that he doesn’t know? Do you think that happens a lot? There are a lot of words in the language. It’s not like writers can learn all the words out there.

“I know what your book needs.”

A story. The writer thought to himself.

“Contradiction. That makes it appear with more purpose. Make it like a drug, but don’t make it a drug. Make people need to live with it but have no cure for it, so that way there are no bounds to what we can do with it. Yes. Yes. People need to become addicts to it but never diagnosed. That’s the trick. Good addicts. Make them all good addicts.”

“But drugs are bad.” The writer missed the point.

“Be funny, but not too funny. Be serious, but not too serious. Be political but not too political. Be radical, but not too radical. But more importantly, make it like a drug with no cure.” He left.

That is something to think about. The writer thought. It would be embarrassing not to know the definition of a word that I use in my story. Yeah, but nobody knows all the meanings. People just know the general definition, like a synonym.

The agent came into the room. “You are canceled, man. People don’t like what you said in that story you wrote.”

“You know the story that you said that one line. I mean, I thought it was fine at the time too, but it turns out it is not. No big deal though, we got this. We’ll use this as a sort of rebel side of your personality. You can become like a Raider or Bad Boy Piston. You revel in the freedom you have, and sometimes you overdo it. Your art reflects the rebel, the cowboy, the outlaw that you are, and nobody can change that. You do what you want. You’re a bad guy, with demons, that’s all. Yeah. Yeah. We’ll angle it like that.” He left.

The writer continued to overthink his situation. What if I use words that readers don’t understand? That would be awkward. I don’t want to act too bright, but I can’t use small words. People will think I am stupid too. I don’t need that either. Did he say that he wanted me to be a rebel? I never rebelled against anything. Man, maybe I should have been a businessman.

The agent came back into the room. “Just learned that you are no longer canceled. People want to read your next book.”

“This gives us a chance to spread to a wider, more mainstream audience, one that anyone can read and enjoy. We don’t need your book to be under one genre either. Young adult, sci-fi thriller, literary, we can have the book be on all shelves and be accepted by all; it can appeal to everyone of all ages. You can become a sage of wisdom for the masses to learn of life. A voice of his time that reflects the wrongs and rights of our age. We can highlight your mass appeal.” He left.

The writer thought some more. What if I create a whole new language for my book? That wouldn’t offend anyone. I can say whatever I want, and it would be cool. Then again, I would have to take all the time creating new words and meanings. I don’t want that. Why didn’t I just become a business major?

The agent popped into the room. “Hey, so you are canceled again. People can’t stand some things that you said one time.”

“We can still make this work, though. When this whole thing blows over, and someone else is canceled, and peopled forget about your cancelation, we can present your book as a redemption part of your life. Despite all the problems that you faced with all of this, you prevailed and wrote this great novel. You recovered from being canceled, becoming a new and better man. Even if people don’t like your book, they will respect the perseverance you showed through this controversy. This won’t stop us. We can use this, don’t worry.”

What if I say some mean things about people and people take them the wrong way? It’s not like I ever meet the reader. Will the audience know that I said it in order to advance the story? Will people take it too personal? I can have a character say something terrible, and then a stranger thinks that I am bad. That would suck. A redemption story? Is he talking about my book? I don’t ever remember thinking of redemption in the outline. Wait, did I ever make an outline for this? I should have stayed in college and gotten a good job at a big business.

“Hey, so you are no longer canceled.”

“This can give us a chance to get a celebrity involved with your books. Perhaps write a review or get it featured on their lists. We can get one of those try-hards to pretend to read your book, which should help sales because people love when actors recommend a book. Also, what do you think of writing for a more foreign audience? I’m not only talking about your local bookstore but all bookstores across the world. What do you think, being a bestseller worldwide? I hear that French is the language of the future. That can help you get a bigger fanbase, which is more money for you and me. I got big plans for you, buddy.”

What if I add too many words to the story? Like my book is 700 pages long. That is too long. No one wants to read that many words. I don’t. Did he mention something about celebrities reading my book? Boy, that will be strange when I don’t know them too. Do you think a celebrity would be upset if I never heard of them but ask for a book review? That seems rude.

The agent came in one last time. “You’ve been canceled again. Don’t worry. Don’t worry. I can make this work. This is not a setback at all.”

The write closed his laptop. Sometimes I don’t know why I do this.

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Greg Luti is an editor and blogger on pensandwords.com. His favorite writers are Robert Frost and Charles Bukowski. He enjoys reading up on history, watching comedies, and playing video games, when he is not writing down a few notes for his next piece. He started this blog out of his love for literature and hopes that the reader shares that same passion.

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Should Writers Talk Politics? – Poem

The election season is getting closer, which means one thing,

Cue the guy who says, “THIS IS SPARTA!” really loud.

We don’t kick people down holes.

We don’t have to, because we have guns.

This chaos will produce so many lies for truths, truths for lies, and allegations and interpretations, that I can’t keep up with it all.

I would like to even hire someone to tell me just what the hell is going on.

“They are talking about what now?

The color of the baseball team uniforms? What does that have to do with anything?”

You all know the lines that these politicians will tell you in order to get your vote.

Vote for me because that other guy is bad.

Hatred of the opponent is practically expected at this point.

Vote for me because I am great.

Which is also expected at this point.

Vote for me because I can help this country.

This election is the most important ever, in case you need to be reminded.

There is no election more important than this one.

No other election was more important in the history of elections.

Oh, and the one before that one.

Oh, and that other one before that one.

Besides those other elections that we all said were the most important elections ever…

This election is the most important ever.

You know I am starting to sense that they want me to think this election is the most important thing ever regardless of who runs.

There will never be an election where both candidates look at each other and say, “You know this isn’t really the end-all, be-all.

The sun will still rise tomorrow.

The world will continue to turn.

No matter if either of us wins.

And who are we all kidding here? We politicians are just happy when a lot of you show up.”

Should a writer like myself, who enjoys free-verse and short stories over political quarrels and policies, give my opinion of my political stance?

Would you view me differently if I were red?

How about if I were blue?

What if I tell you I don’t vote?

What if I say that I am the first person to vote?

And we haven’t even gotten to the juicy stuff yet…

Education means a lot to me.

Education means nothing to me.

I am worried about healthcare.

I don’t care about healthcare.

I love where this nation is going.

I hate where this nation is going.

Foreign policy is key to me.

Foreign policy is irrelevant to me.

I support Black Lives Matter.

I support Blues Lives Matter.

Where should a writer stand when it comes to politics?

Politics; the very thing that runs our world.

Politics; the thing that has an impact on every aspect of our lives.

Is it okay for a writer to go on a political diatribe in an otherwise apolitical forum?

Should this blog, a literary blog, even touch politics?

Should we act like the election doesn’t exist?

Close our eyes and then maybe the monsters, I mean, politicians will disappear.

As a storyteller, as a poet, as a writer, I say that the priority should be the words.

Not the agenda that is put forward.

I should be focused on producing the best articles for you to read.

Not convincing you of who is a better candidate.

When the story is not a political story, when the poem has nothing to do with voting, when the article is not about a candidate or the election, then a writer is not obligated to put in their two cents for their political views.

Cause honestly, as a reader…

I am not reading your fantasy novel with dragons and witches, or your literary novel with workplace humor, to hear your take on abortion.

Or to hear you go on a rant about gun control.

Or for you to give me the lowdown on immigration.

And if a writer’s rant about healthcare really has that big of an impact on you, then you need to do more research on healthcare. (or whatever that topic is)

You shouldn’t read Hamlet and then think, “Boy, we really have to change how we all look at suicide. We should change the law because of that speech.”

The best advice any artist can give a person concerning politics is to tell them that their own education is the most important thing.

Now, this doesn’t mean that a writer can’t touch these areas.

And they will continue to do so.

As I have made clear, politics is a massive force in our world.

It is almost supernatural for a writer not to talk about politics ever.

A writer should understand the audience’s expectations, though.

If it is not a political book, then the readers probably don’t want you to make a big deal of political stuff.

Having said all of that, I am excited to write a few political pieces on this blog in the coming month.

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Here is a Halloween short story featuring a crazy couple and a time machine.

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Mr. Evil And The Tennis Rackets – Short Story

We start the scene as a skinny bald man stands by the counter, staring at his empty fridge. “I swear I thought we got more milk. And no creamer.” He looked at the already made coffee he had on the counter. “Damn.” He closed the fridge. He opened the fridge. He closed the fridge again. He opened the fridge. He closed the fridge. He walked over to the two men sitting. After a few steps, he walked back over to the fridge and opened it. He poured the last of the milk into the coffee and walked over to the men sitting.

The two-time travelers’ Brian and Vinny were tied down to the chairs by rope and are owners of the most sophisticated time machine around. Not that there are that many time machines to go around. The last I checked, you can’t buy them online. But you get the idea. The two men travel time-fighting against those who seek to hurt and cause pain to any in the past or future. They have battled kings from the past kingdoms and knights of the future. This time the two heroes who know how to handle themselves in the face of danger would surely get out of this situation.

Vinny, the smaller of the two with a more stout frame, is the brains of the operation, for he invented the time-traveling machine with its sleek design and two-seat setup. Brian, the larger of the two, in weight and hair length, is more of the brute, fighting any in their way with any weapon he can find. An adversary like the one they face now, Mr. Evil, was no match for our great heroes.

“You’ll never get away with this!” Vinny called out to the villain, who was sipping his coffee.

“Oh, so now it is a crime to be the last one to use milk? We are all out of creamer, you know!”

“He means about stealing the time machine!”

“Oh…. That. Yeah. No. You’ll be dead before I even get to my first spot.”

“You are evil for doing this!” Vinny called out, never imagining his machine would get into the hands of a villain whose sole purpose is to destroy history itself. The inventor has come across many bad men in his travels, but they were all in the era he lived in; none of them stole his invention with the intention of traveling time.

“What part of me being evil don’t you get? Do you want me to spell it out for you?” The mad man then put down his cup of coffee and grabbed a marker and whiteboard, and proceeded to write on it. “E is for….”

“Evil?” Brian interrupted.

Mr. Evil snapped at him. “No! Hey! Who is the one with the whiteboard? Hmm? Is it you? Or is it me? Be quiet!” He continued his explanation. “As I was saying, before I got rudely interrupted, honestly, it’s called manners; they are not that hard. It doesn’t cost you anything to have some courtesy.” He wrote out the letters as he spoke.” E is for Everything.” He turned to the tied hostages. “Which is what I am evil towards. V is for Villain, which is what I am. I is for… well I don’t have anything for I yet. And L is for Love because I love being evil. Did you get all of that?”

“Did you make a chart just for this situation?” Brian turned to his fellow hero, confident that he was stronger than the guards by the door. “That is a weird thing to make a chart for.”

“It isn’t really a complete chart. He has nothing for I,” Vinny responded with the same arrogance.

“Yeah, and he picked the wrong word for E.”

“He may be evil but not very well thought out.”

“Yeah. It’s only four letters. How hard can it be to come up with a word for four letters?”

Mr. Evil zoned out as the heroes continued their back and forth. He didn’t like these heroes. He didn’t know these heroes. He only wanted their invention. This other dialogue seemed pointless to the villain.

“I is a pretty frequent letter.”

“Yet this guy couldn’t come with a word for them.”

“Imagine if he had a letter like X on that board.”

“He’d relate his ways to x-rays somehow.”

“I never cared much for that instrument. It’s only known for being the instrument that starts with x.”

“Have you ever played it?”

“No. I still don’t like it.”

“You have to try it before you like it.”

Mr. Evil butted in, tired of the conversation of his hostages. “Are you two done with the witty banter? Hmm? Are you through? Cause the last I checked; I was explaining to you what evil means because someone here is too stupid to know what it means. Maybe I should check with everyone in the room. Say, guards, do you know what evil means?” They nodded their heads. “They know. Say sharks in my shark tank, do you know what evil means?” They nodded in agreement. “I know what evil means. That only leaves you, two imbeciles, not knowing what evil is while talking to an evil man, in his evil house, as his evil guards and evil sharks all know what evil is.” He walked away from the heroes towards the whiteboard. “So let’s review, shall we? E is for Everything. V is for Villain. I is for, well I don’t have anything for that yet. And L is for Love. Got it?”

“How about you say I is for I, you know, because it could be all about you?”

“Oh, that’s not bad.” The time machine thief responded. “The I can have a few meanings then.”

“You could make I indestructible on how evil people always act that way.” The one hostage suggested.

A voice message on the phone screen popped up. “Sir, there is a package for you.”

“Yeah. I am interrogating those guys whose time machine I stole. Remember how I said last week I would steal it. You said it would be better if I asked businessmen about modern slavery. How can I pay people but still make them my slaves?” He turned to his hostages. “Turns out that slavery is not as dead as you would think.” He spoke back into the speaker.” Anyway, the torture is going really great in here.” He then faked being a torture victim. “Oh, no. That hurts. Stop, please! No more!” He talked back to the speaker in his normal voice. “Yeah, I don’t think either of these guys can handle this torture. Oh yeah, this is the best torture I have ever given.”

Someone opened up the door and walked in. “Here it is.” It was the same woman who was on the phone, Shelly, the wife of Mr. Evil and long-time companion. Ever since the two were youngsters, they dreamt of taking over the world, nuking a city or two, causing a worldwide depression. Most couples dream of a house and some kids, but those were never in their plans. The two spent their honeymoon buying bombs from one country while convincing their allies that they were peaceful. Their villainous ways made the two a very happy couple, happier than sane couples.

“Shelly! Why the hell didn’t you say you were right outside? Here I am looking like a freaking idiot making weird torture noises, and you were there the whole time.”

“The new shirts are in,” Shelly said in her always stern voice.

“Oh boy!” He ran to open the boxes as he spoke to the hostages. “One of my assistants had the idea of commercializing evil with merchandise. At first, I was against the idea because commercializing evil just seemed wrong to me. It really takes away from the pureness of evil. But then I realized that I can spread evil with merchandise.”

“By making t-shirts?” Vinny asked, still tied up and not moving.

“Yes. Also, coffee mugs.” The two villains opened the boxes.

He showed the three shirts to his hostages. “This one says Evil.” He picked up a second one.” This one says I am with Mr. Evil. I figure I might as well put my name on one.” Shelly held up the third t-shirt.” Oh, this one is a bunch of tennis rackets. Someone on my team came up with the image, and I thought it looked cool.”

“You play tennis?” Vinny asked.

“Do you not listen? No. I don’t play tennis. Someone on my team does, and I thought this image would be nice on a t-shirt. Not evil, but still nice.”

“Kindness and evil is a very dangerous combination,” Shelly remarked, trying to organize the boxes.

“You tell ’em, Shell.” The husband agreed with his wife.

“We gain the trust of people by presenting ourselves as good-hearted moral individuals, enabling us to get close to them, and that makes it easier to manipulate those who originally trusted us because we have access to the information we can use against them.”

“The perfect one-two punch; Trust and betray.” Mr. Evil added.

“What are you going to do with the time machine?” Vinny asked.

“You know not everything is about you, Mr. Ego?” The coffee-drinking villain rebutted the hero’s question.” Sure I stole your time machine, but do you think that is all I am doing with my time?”

“No. You clearly play tennis and make t-shirts in your spare time.” Brian remarked.

“Heroes are so annoying, pretending like they should be told every little detail of the villain’s plans. Do I ask you what you are going to do to try to escape? No. I have some respect for you, that’s why.”

“Respect is so hard to come by these days,” Shelly added.

“The plague of our times.” Mr. Evil said. “Well, aside from that actual plague we started in Africa.”

“Also, the media is quite the plague too, infecting minds more than the body. If you can infect the mind, you can control the body.” Shelly commented.

“So true, Shell, so true.”

The two villains continued to clean up their boxes and shirts as the two hostages sat in silence. They both carried what they could to another side of the room.

After a few trips with the packages, Mr. Evil noticed the two hostages staring at him. “Oh, I’m sorry. Did you want me to actually tell you my plan? Sure, me and my wife have a side business we are trying to start, but don’t worry, let me spend some time to talk about what you want to talk about.”

“You should have tortured these men,” Shelly said.

“I’m starting to think that too.”

Shelly directed her words to the hostages, “He is going to go back in time to kill all the great Halloween writers.”

“What! You’re a monster!”

“No. I’m Evil. What part of that are you two not getting? Do I have to show you the whiteboard again?”

“You can’t go back in time and kill those people. That will eliminate Halloween.” Vinny called out.

“Ah… yeah. Good job figuring that one out.” Mr. Evil said.

“You should go back in time and kill Baby Hitler,” Brian remarked.

Mr. Evil started to laugh. “You want me, the man who has evil in his name, to go back in time to kill Hitler, the evilest man who ever lived?” He looked at Shelly. “I swear I didn’t even torture them yet.”

“Could have fooled me.” She said.

“You can’t just go back in time and eliminate Halloween,” Brian stated.

“Oh… I can’t? Shelly, do I have a time machine now?”

“And with that time machine, can I go back in time?”

“And have I killed people before?”

“Seems to me that this whole thing is not really out of my league. You can’t really say that I am acting unreasonably here, can you, Shelly?”

“You’re sick!” The hero yelled at the villain.

“You say potato; I say potatoe. You say Halloween; I say I am going back in time to kill everything about it. Feels like the same thing to me.”

“They are practically synonyms,” Shelly said.

Mr. Evil walked over to the time machine. “Say, are there keys to this thing? Is there a button? I swear time machines are such a pain in the ass. Every freaking guy has to invent his own design. Shelly, remind me when we get back to kill the man who invented the time machine. Freaking moron.” He opened the door to the machine. “Okay, well, this was fun. Oh, who am I kidding? This was boring. You guys aren’t very good heroes. You know, the last guy I captured at least got into a fight with my guards, but you guys haven’t even gotten out of the rope yet. I am excited to go to the past and kill all those who made Halloween. Who is the first guy on my list Shelly?”

“Great. I feel like I should kill him with a pumpkin. What do you guys think? Too cliché?”

“You won’t get away with this!” Brian yelled.

“Oh, give it a rest, will you?” He spoke to his companion. “You know, Shelly, I think I will start off by killing Shakespeare. Is he a Halloween writer?”

“Well, let’s add him.” He turned to the heroes. “Sounds like the bard is going to not be anymore.” No one laughed. “What? Not funny? Tough crowd.”

“Sir, you have to kill them before we go.” Shelly reminded Mr. Evil as the two sat in the time machine.

“Right. Thanks, Shell.” He jumped out of his seat towards the heroes, who had not attempted to escape yet.

“I am in a good mood, so I will let you two decide on how you will die. Sharks. “He pointed to the sharks in the tank. ‘Or headshot.” He pulled out a gun from his hip pocket.

“When we get out of here, you will regret your decision!” Brian yelled once more.

Without hesitation, he pointed the gun at the protester and shot him in the head, killing him instantly. “Eh. I changed my mind. I am going to just kill you both. I hate in stories when villains give this long speech only to have the hero break free. Shelly, this one is for the sharks.”

Shelly called over a few bodyguards who threw Vinny, still tied, into the shark tank. The creatures then devoured him.

Mr. Evil and Shelly stood motionless as they waited for the victim to get fully eaten. Neither acknowledged his cries for help.

“I’m thinking we have Chinese food when we get back. What do you think?” Mr. Evil suggested.

“I could go for some egg rolls.”

“Yeah, you know I don’t like how they don’t give us any chocolate fortune cookies anymore. I really liked those.”

“They aren’t real fortune cookies. There isn’t some Asian man coming up with all of those lines. They are made in a factory.”

‘We should get dumplings too.”

“Yeah, but do we have to get the vegetarian ones? Those are gross.”

“If we get dumplings, we have to get beef and vegetarian.”

Mr. Evil looked over at the shark tank that was now filled with blood. “Oh, I guess he is dead. We can go.” They headed over to the machine. “I don’t think they took me seriously when I told them I was evil. Eh, whatever.” The couple got into the time machine, ready to cause havoc. “Shelly set the time period for Shakespearean time. We have a bard to kill.”

“I think you mean a whole holiday.”

Happy Halloween everyone. Enjoy the holiday.

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Greg Luti is an editor and blogger on pensandwords.com. His favorite writers are Robert Frost and Charles Bukowski. He enjoys reading up on history, watching comedies, and playing video games, when he is not writing down a few notes for his next piece. He started this blog out of his love for literature and hopes that the reader shares that same passion.

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• Sarah Beach
• Feb 2, 2020
• 5 min read

Updated: Feb 6, 2021

6 Obscure Literary Couples That #CouplesGoals – Op-Ed Piece

Darcy and Elizabeth. Romeo and Juliet. Cathy and Heathcliff. Jane and Rochester. These famous literary couples get all the attention, but some other important couples deserve the spotlight this Valentine’s Day.

While the following couples are lesser-known, both in the public eye and even sometimes in their own stories, let’s give them the love they deserve.

Although these two are certainly the title characters in many ways, they still deserve a little extra respect. Eliot’s masterpiece shows a variety of examples of marriage – some exemplary, some… less than ideal.

Why we love them: Dorothea and Will take a looooong time to get together – they both go through a series of false starts, misunderstandings, and career changes (not least of which is the large chunk of the book wherein Dorothea is married to Will’s grumpy, aging cousin) before finally recognizing their value to each other. In the end, they’re together because they just fit—they’re both quirky, misunderstood, and deeply devoted to their personal goals. No one understands them but each other. And Will, ever theatric, insists that “no other woman exists by the side of [Dorothea].” In the end, Dorothea realizes the same and chooses him over wealth, status, and comfort.

We all know and love Aragorn and Arwen (especially from the films), but do we remember Éowyn and Faramir?

Why we love them: Both have baggage, but they heal together – both literally and figuratively. They meet in the Houses of Healing after the last great battle; both are wounded from their valorous deeds. However, both are healing in more ways than one. Faramir is healing from the traumatic deaths of his father and brother, and their complicated personalities in life. Éowyn is healing from unrequited love for Aragorn and the death of her uncle, who she desperately tried to save. Both have overcome great trials and they heal together. The romance that follows is gentle, steady, and grows in mutual respect and support.

I know, I know. You’re thinking of Ross and Demelza’s tempestuous love triangles and intrigues. But can we take a moment to appreciate Drake and Morwenna?

Why we love them: Winston Graham wrote that “the greatest thing is to have someone who loves you and—and to love in return.” For Drake, it’s love at first sight, and Morwenna shortly thereafter… but life isn’t that simple. After Morwenna ends up in a badly arranged, abusive, and miserable marriage, Drake is devastated. Still, he never gives up hope. And Morwenna never stops loving him, either. A few years later, her husband is dead and it finally looks like they can be together–except for Morwenna’s crippling PTSD, Drake’s poverty, and both families’ objections. Morwenna is scarred to the point that even Drake touching her gives her violent flashbacks. Through time, patience, and fierce loyalty, the two grow together again and it’s beautiful to behold.

While the attention is all on Anne’s turbulent past with the tall, dark and brooding Captain

Wentworth, the Crofts quietly and neatly provide them (and us) with a fabulous role model.

Why we love them: Admiral Croft is a sea-captain, and we first learn that he is weather-beaten from years in the Royal Navy. Mrs. Croft is unconventional – she goes on shipboard with her husband, not wanting to be parted from him, even when he takes difficult, lengthy journeys around the world. In 1816, ships were not comfortable, nor were they ladylike. Mrs. Croft is a role model for Anne, whose family provides her with only examples of selfishness, arrogance, and deceit. Both she and the Admiral are down-to-earth, kind, capable, and dependable, and, in Austen’s words, “a most attractive picture of happiness” in their marriage.

Anna and Count Vronsky, of course, are the main characters in Tolstoy’s epic romance, but let’s take a moment to remember the real MVPs.

Why we love them: After several false starts, ups, and downs, quarrels and failures, Kitty and Levin ultimately make it work. Instead of the steamy, stormy affair of the title character and her illicit lover, Kitty and Levin sacrifice their own needs for each other’s happiness. After a night of existential philosophizing and working with the serfs on his farm, Levin realizes that “he could not be mistaken. There were no other eyes like those in the world. There was only one creature in the world who could concentrate for him all the brightness and meaning of life. It was she. It was Kitty.” Kitty, in turn, recognizes his inner qualities and learns to love him in a deeper, purer way.

The Harry Potter fandom is full of ‘shippers—some more plausible than others, but a relationship that JK Rowling got absolutely right is that of Bill and Fleur. They only show up in a few of the books, but they’ve left a forever impression on our hearts.

Why we love them: Bill and Fleur meet as teens at school, then grow up to get married and fight evil together. Bill was an edgy, rock-star dragon tamer type, with long hair and one fang earring; Fleur was the queen of her social circle, brilliant, talented, and part veela. When Bill was injured by Fenrir Greyback, Fleur remained fiercely loyal, despite opposition from Bill’s family and his permanent scarring. They married and settled in a windswept cottage on the coast of Cornwall—the border between their two native lands. Shell Cottage seems non-descript but played a crucial role in the defeat of Voldemort as important characters sheltered there to re-group. We all cry a little to remember that Dobby is buried there still.

While we all love a good scandal, it’s much easier to relate to the obscure, everyday folks who make their relationship work. If you’re looking for a little inspiration for your own love life, look no further than these underrated but powerful couples from literature. Which one(s) do you relate to the most?

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Sarah Beach is a writer, editor, and researcher with an intense need for herbal tea. She writes about a variety of subjects, including social media, mental health, memes, and holistic wellness. Sarah is a graduate student in the field of Communication Studies and teaches rhetoric. She is also a registered Reiki practitioner and enthusiastic ukulele player. When she’s not writing, you can find her wandering aimlessly outdoors or watching period dramas.

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The word that you have to include in this prompt is “MAP” MAP What special event are we going to use as inspiration for writing about a map? Is there a historical figure who liked maps I want you to use? Perhaps a writer who loved maps? Uh… I put up a map in my office. But that first idea of a historical figure who liked maps, that was my second option.

Rules – (if you want to call them that)

• Make the piece shorter than 1000 words.

• It could be fiction or non-fiction.

Here are some suggestions for you to get going – (or that you can completely ignore)

1. Talk about how you never used a map ever.

2. Bring up a story where a character needs to use a map.

3. Describe your favorite map of all time. (If you even have something like this)

What I would write with this prompt – (that would probably be wrong) I’d write a story about a traveler. Yeah. Yeah. I know that is not the most original idea ever. A traveler with a map for a map prompt, but that is what I would do. Maybe I would make the traveler never really go anywhere. Are you going to get lost with this prompt, or find your way, or completely ignore it because you hate wordplay? Have fun writing.

MAP is your one word for today’s prompt.

Good luck with your writing.

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You can leave your piece in the comment section below, or submit it here

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About The Blogger Greg Luti is an editor and blogger on pensandwords.com. He is a lover of maps, although he has grown fond of GPS. He loves to tell stories about travelers of the past like Marco Polo and Columbus. He considers himself to be a world-renowned traveler from all the years he spent getting up off the couch and going for short walks.

What Do You Even Say To The Pope? – Op-Ed Piece

The Pope is the most popular guy on the planet.

He is, after all, the head of the most popular religion on the same planet.

People know the guy is what I am saying.

He doesn’t have to worry about running ads on Facebook or any other social media account to get people to hear him.

He has a little thing called God on his side.

(Which I am not sure if you know this or not, having God on your side is a good thing)

As I heard of the president-elect talking to the Pope, I asked myself, what does one even say to a person like that?

He isn’t like an average person.

He is, you know, the Pope.

Doesn’t he talk directly to God? (Is there a hotline for that or something?)

Doesn’t he slay demons? (Or at least know how to?)

Doesn’t he actually bless stuff? (So that the demons he didn’t slay don’t bother him)

He blessed the beads that I own.

(which is basically like his autograph, if autographs could get someone out of hell)

I’d like to imagine that the Pope knew that his beads would be referenced in a random blog post that I wrote one day.

Like that was part of the prayer, rather than him saying an Our Father.

What do you think you’d say to the Pope if you had a meeting with him?

I’d be speechless, and the situation would get awkward until I decided to say something.

What’s up with the Devil?

He’s such an asshole, right?”

The Pope would look at me like the moron I am.

“Jesus is cool, though. I like him.

I joke, trying to save myself of the embarrassment.

I’d then make up an excuse to leave the room, and then I would never mention the awkwardness again.

Grill Him – Not Advisable

I could grill the Pope and ask him the hard-hitting questions.

The real questions that no one wants to ask him.

The stuff that he should be dealing with.

“Where was the church during the Holocaust?

Why does it do nothing about the pedophilia problem?

What was the church thinking about events like the Inquisition?”

Then when he doesn’t answer me, I go into a rant on how Jesus was created by the Roman Empire and that the church is nothing more than an extension of that.

That is a great way to get my butt kicked into the street by the Pope’s bodyguards.

As my ass is getting kicked, I’d proclaim some self-righteous bullshit (which is all the rage today)

“I know the truth! Myrna! Myrna! Myrna!”

But that isn’t the way to lose in style.

Cool guys don’t look at explosives.

They also don’t complain when getting thrown into the streets.

Knowing me, I’d act all nonchalant with the Pope and treat him as if he were like anyone else.

“So I hear that Stop Rite has a deal on the can sodas they sell.

That is a pretty good deal, you know.

It is much better than how much water costs.

Personally, I am a Pepsi guy myself, but I enjoy a good Coke too.

Of the stores to shop, though, I go to Target.

I like its design, you know?

That means something to me.

I always end up buying something good from Target.

Now, if the Pope really wanted to surprise me, he would display his knowledge of the dilemma I reported.

“Target has a deal of 2 for $4.”

I think that authority figures knowing minor details that mean a lot to the average person shows a deep understanding on the figure’s end.

We all have our own priorities and concerns, and hobbies.

We all don’t go around being high and mighty blessing stuff and saying prayers.

Sometimes I am worried about what to watch on TV next.

Sometimes the deals at the grocery stores are really important to me.

Sometimes the performer of the Halftime Show is on my mind.

Do they really mean that much?

Am I not getting into heaven because I chose Spongebob over Breaking Bad?

Or Shop Rite over Target?

Or Taylor Swift over Ed Sheeran?

I think that most people know this too.

But we all get caught up with our lives, and then certain things become more important than they should, and then all of a sudden, we know more about it than we should.

We quote Spongbob too much.

We know that the technology area is next to the books at Target.

We have a list of candidates for the show.

That thing is then a part of our lives, and we then value it and appreciate it when others do as well.

Not for its real value, but for the value it has to us.

It would be cool to meet the Pope and hear him tell me about something that I find interesting.

I mean, how shocked would I be if I go to meet the Pope and he starts to tell me about Herman Melville and Moby Dick?

“Melville wrote Bartleby as well.

That short story is still relatable today, for the indifference of a co-worker is still prevalent in the modern workplace.

We all know that co-worker who, for some reason or another, doesn’t deal with anyone else.

The guy isn’t a bad guy or anything, but he just doesn’t deal. Bartleby is the epitome of that.

Moby Dick is Melville’s claim to fame.

It is also known as the White Whale, and it was an initial failure and not known as the classic it is until the early 20th century.

It was written in 1851 and is widely regarded as one of the first Great American Novels.

It is an analogy for God and man’s desire to meet him, where the whale can be seen as the omnipresent, all-powerful being, and Ahab as man trying to find him.

The book’s famous first line, ‘Call me Ishmael,’ is a reference to the son of Abraham, Ishmael.

It is quite a tough read, though. There is a whole chapter on rope.”

I’d have more respect for the Pope if he did that then if he told me about the 10 Commandments and the Rosaries.

God wants to love and be with me.

You don’t have to sell me on God.

The Pope doesn’t always have to be so Pope like.

Although, I do have a bone to pick with the Church about Hail Mary prayers.

What is up with that second line? (the one line that begins with Blessed art thou)

It is oddly structured and throws people off, so we all mumble the blessed art though part and then start up again at the Mother of God part.

Here it is, so you know what I am talking about.

Hail Mary, Full of Grace, The Lord is with thee.

Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of death.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.

No. I would never tell this to the Pope if I met him.

Mostly because I don’t want to go to hell.

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Greg Luti is an editor and blogger on pensandwords.com. He will never meet the Pope. He will go to Target tomorrow to get some soda.

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